Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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