no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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