no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
