Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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