i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize