Michael Bay diarrhea
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
