Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
as a side note pls kill me
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