paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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