hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
