Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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