how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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