"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
