Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
