I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
