i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
