dude i'm inner monologue high
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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