My room smells like vodka and shame
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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