Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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