You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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