Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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