Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.