The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys