my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.