So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize