do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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