i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
