508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
