Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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