I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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