flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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