Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
