Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize