This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
