youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize