he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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