I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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