so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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