hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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