You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
