Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
