You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
