I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
