love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Found the puke drawer
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I believe in your delicious
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
