How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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