He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
