You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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