Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
zippers are such a cool invention
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
