Just cropdusted the office
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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