It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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