wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
