I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
