Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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