My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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