I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
