Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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