I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
tell me about the eggs
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
